Make Your Own Weight Loss Chocolate

Weight loss chocolate?  No, this is not some late night infomercial attempting to scam you.  If you are a certified chocoholic this could be the best blog you have ever read.  This recipe is healthful, takes no time at all to whip up and contains 2 superfoods that have been shown to raise metabolism (plus a whole host of other goodness), raw cacao and coconut oil.  The marriage of the two is beyond words.



My converted microwave:  Smoothie and Chocolate Making Warehouse



The Recipe:

(Thank you Ingrid Arna for introducing me to this daily indulgence)

Ingredients

4 heaping tablespoons of raw cacao

Sweetener to taste.  I use around 1/8 teaspoon of stevia.

1/2 cup of unrefined coconut oil

Melt the coconut oil. Place jar of oil under a warm tap, use a double boiler or create one.  I use my pyrex cup and place it in a saucepan 1/4 full of water and heat on medium.  Once the coconut oil is melted, add the cacao and sweetener and mix well.
Pour melted chocolate into a shallow pan.  You want a thin layer.  I use an aluminum foil lined cookie sheet.  After you have poured your mixture, see below for additions.  Put and keep in the refrigerator. You don't want it to melt.  Break into pieces once cooled and consume responsibly.

Now it's your turn to put a creative spin on it.  Add shredded coconut, pumpkin seeds, almond slivers, gogi berries, certified therapeutic grade essential oils (I have tried peppermint, wild orange, and lavender) and spices.  Spice really adds a kick to the flavor.  To date my favorite creations include:  

gogi berries, coconut flakes and pumpkin seeds

curry powder, sesame seeds and coconut 

orange peel, currants and wild orange essential oil

cayenne pepper, almond slivers, and chopped dates

Easy peasy.  May the wind rise at your back and may you always have a pan of this delectable homemade goodness in your fridge.

Mother Nature, A Love Note

My secret camping spot

Third through fifth grade, my family rented a farm house on 27 acres.  It was the first great thing to happen to me, an 8 year old girl trapped in an emotionally and physically abusive existence.  FREEDOM.  There was a barn, a hayloft, kittens, multiple ponds, tadpoles, crawdads, horse hair snakes and two horses owned by our landlord.  I have since forgiven my mother for not knowing how to love me.  How can I fault her for as a girl for she never received very much love or acceptance either.  Those 27 acres took me in and soon became my adoptive mother.  I explored every square inch of this personal paradise. My biological mom had to buy a high powered whistle to call me in for dinner and then again for bedtime.  To this day I believe this was the strongest influence in the making of who I am today.

We moved.

I was almost 12. A big yard but not a refuge. The solution: my bio mom would drive me 3.5 miles to a park with the most phenomenal creek bed that meandered what seemed like forever.  We would synchronize our watches and she would pick me up at a designated time usually 2-3 hours.  Just me, the creek, salamanders, newts, and trees...pure nature.  I was home.  A lone 11.5 year old girl in the urban wilderness.  So thankful those were the days before the internet, cell phones, and parental hyper awareness to safety and predators.  A 12 year old girl these days does not have the same freedom. I am sad for her.

Fast forward 18 years, my mother love stronger than ever and in my longing for her I moved to Montana (and not wanting to turn 30 west of the continental divide).  Found a job selling ads for a weekly newspaper.  Every day after work I hiked the same 4 miles in the same wilderness area.  Was I stuck in a rut?  Not even close.  It is meditative to connect to the same patch of land.  I distinctly remember missing a few days from my jaunt du jour.  It seemed as if whole forest had changed!  New flowers were in bloom whereas some had withered, not noticeable unless you were truly connected.  I have a different job now and those days were long ago but I still feel happiest and most loved when I am amongst the trees, kayaking on a mountain lake, in my garden or on a trail.

Through the pain and misunderstanding of one mother I learned the importance of forgiveness and of unconditional love. Through the generosity of her bounty and absence of judgment I was able to embrace the other.  She got me through the tough times and helped me feel as if I belonged.  I am of a certain age now and am grateful to see the big picture.  I am especially lucky.  I have two moms.

Dandelion: Suburban Lawn Enemy #1 OR Superfood for the Masses?

No, I don't really want the world to end but is it wrong that I was hoping for a little more shake rattle and roll on December 21, 2012?  Perhaps a few days of darkness, maybe the grid going down for a week or so...anything to wake people up!  Instead we awoke to things appearing normal.  Things ARE shaking behind the scenes unaware to those who are too busy watching Survivor than to actually know how to survive but to the untrained eye things seem status quo.  Many are still in the dark about Obama signing the "Monsanto can do Whatever they Flippin Please Act" recently.  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?  Bueller?  Is anyone awake?

Spring has finally landed in Montana and more people are spending time in their yards and gardens.  I look in my yard and get excited at seeing those zig zaggedy leaves and know that wild food is on its way to me.  A gift from the universe.  I am one of  THOSE neighbors.  You know, the one without the perfectly manicured lawn. The kind that displays little tiny flags with bragging rights saying, "Look at how pretty I am. Don't let your dogs walk on me. I am toxic, but aren't I so pretty??"  Nope, I am the one with copious dandelions. 

I have a wish for my manicured community.  My dandelion wish for people is that they would wake up and see the nutrition, get in their yard with their kids, pick them, make wine and salads from them, see them for the bright bold yellow flower that they are and the whimsical seed pod that they become.

The word dandelion comes from the French word, dents de lion, meaning the teeth of the lion.  This most likely refers to the jagged leaves.  A lesser known French name for dendelion is pis-en-lit, meaning wet the bed.  Dandelion is a duiretic, not meant as a bed time snack. 

Dandelion leaves and roots are super nutritious and even the yellow flowers are edible. Historically the roots and leaves were used for digestive issues, breast health, fever, skin diseases, liver support and joint pain.  I was surprised to open up today's paper to find dandelion featured in the weekly food section.   I have long made fritters out of the flowers and use the leaves for salads but have never made dandelion leaf pesto.  I love recipes, but when it comes to pesto I never measure.  Here are the amounts according to The Missoulian.

1-2 cloves of garlic (or more!)

1/2 tsp kosher salt

3 TBS pine nuts

1/2 bunch (12 ounces) dandelion greens trimmed and chopped

2 TBS finely grated Parmigiano Reggiano cheese

2 TBS finely grated pecorino Romano cheese

2-4 TBS fruity olive oil

Lemon juice if desired to taste

Blend or food process.  Add ingredients as needed to taste.

Old habits die hard.  I understand.  Before you call the weed man or god forbid get out your Monsanto Round Up, shake thing up.  Pick a few leaves, dig up some root, throw some flowers in a salad and try dandelion for yourself. 

Interspecies Gay Marriage

I don't care if you have three legs and are purple, if you have found a love so dear that you want to express it with marriage,  I applaud you.

Gay marriage is a hot topic these days and the other night over dinner a few friends and I were discussing it.  I said off the cuff, "Yeah, once gay marriage is OK with the government I am going to see if it acceptable to marry my dog."  "That is what they are saying," they chimed in.  "What?"  "Yeah, people are saying if they allow gay marriage then soon people will want to marry their pets."   "Really?  Are you flipping kidding me?"  Honestly?  People can be idiots.

For years I have talked about marrying my dog.  Mormons have sister wives, why can't I have a dog wife??  There are so many reasons why we are such a good match.  Some human couples aren't this SIMPATICO. 

The Happy Couple

Others are jealous of our love because:

1. We understand each other completely.
2. We are 100% loyal to one another.
3. We are super protective of each other.
4. We have so much in common. We love to swim in lakes, hike, nap, camp, watch Netflix and backpack.
5. We accept each other exactly as we are. 

As no relationship is perfect, cons to this union:

1. I pay for everything.  I get home from work and the house isn't clean and my dinner is not made.  She doesn't have a job.  She is somewhat of a deadbeat.
2. Intimacy is an issue.  She doesn't even like it when I hold her paw when we are watching movies.
3. She doesn't know how to use the toilet.
4. She is a bit of a bed hog.  

All kidding aside, I think we should shout from the rooftop any time two people are in a commited loving relationship and want to seal the deal in the eyes of god.  Never in my life has anyone else's marriage interfered with my day to day life.  NEVER. 

Healthy Haikus and Cherry Blossoms

Difficult pondering cherry blossoms in full bloom when I awoke to yet another dusting of snow mid April in Western Montana.  My tulips on the verge of bursting into color may have a life tragically cut short as tomorrow night it will dip way below freezing, so for now I will conjure up cherry blossoms in my mind.  Our beloved Flathead cherries bloom much later in the summer, so sooner or later I will get a piece of the action.  You can bet your sweet bippy fingers will be stained, pickling and pies will occur, and inevitable frequent trips to the bathroom having overindulged in these bite sized versions of heaven.



Courtesy of montanacherries.com

In 1912, 3000 cherry trees were a gift to the city of Washington, DC by Tokyo's mayor Yukio Ozaki.  The annual Cherry Blossom Festival is a symbol of American and Japanese friendship.

America has been swept up by haiku during this celebration so I thought I would try my hand at writing some healthy haikus.  A bit more difficult than originally anticipated but still an unintimidating entry into the mysterious workings of poetry.

Here is what I came up with.

Water, air, and sleep
exercise, whole food eating
a beautiful life

Planting a garden
is like money in the bank
Good Food Currency

Chia, maca, kale
superfoods of the Gods, and
of wholesome people

Feeling sick and sad
GMOs, law of the land
when will people see?

Kale, glorious kale
my body sings in delight
Hallelujah! Greens! 

Garlic...Enough Said

I dated a wonderful young man in college.  I lived in an apartment while (for the first couple of years) he still lived at home.  In hindsight I can see why his mother wasn't fond of me, being the potential woman to take him away...and oh I did Carol, all the way to Montana from Ohio.  When our 6 year relationship ended, she got him back.  She wasn't outwardly mean yet she would often get her jabs in.  "Ever since you started dating Andrea, you reek of garlic." she said one day loud enough for me to hear.  A smile came over me.  To this day that is one of the greatest compliments I have ever received.

Growing up in a home that hardly contained real live vegetables, garlic as a kid always came in the form of garlic powder. This was normally added to jarred spaghetti sauce or to a big glutteny loaf of white bread.  Fast forward to college years where I often cooked instead of studying.  If it cast a spell on me in powdered form you can imagine what it was like when I got my hands on my very first bulb.  Now I grow it, store it, and eat it almost every day.  Last year I grew 62 bulbs, this year I hope to harvest 100.  I am quite generous sharing my garden bounty but even my own boyfriend got a mere 4 or 5 bulbs.

I feel like Miss America.

Home grown garlic is more potent than store bought and tastes divine.  You can plant it in the spring or fall.  I prefer spring as I can harvest it mid summer and then plant some greens in its place.  There are two kinds of garlic, hard neck and soft neck.  Soft neck stores longer but hard neck, my preference, produces garlic scapes.  Those swirly tips make some crazy strong pesto.  This is not for the faint hearted.  This is one of my most favorite summer treats and if willpower prevails I freeze some for the winter.  For year long access I store it in my basement closet which is dark and chilly but I also pickle it.

Garlic rocks medicinally.  Entire volumes could be written on the medicinal properties of garlic. Here are my two favorite tried and true recipes: garlic ear oil and garlic honey.

For both you mince tons of garlic or several cloves, depending on how much you want.  Then you put the garlic in a jar, cover it entirely with raw honey or extra virgin olive oil, cover the jar with a paper towel or cheese cloth so moisture can escape (you don't want the garlic to mold) and then you patiently wait for 4-6 weeks while it is doing its thing in a cool dark storage spot.  Then you strain

into a smaller jar or bottle.  I like the tiny blue glass bottles with a dropper for my ear oil.  And voila! 

You have just made some powerful medicine.

6 weeks is a long time.  Plan ahead.

Normally I make less garlic ear oil as it lasts a long time and you only need a little.  Garlic honey, on the other hand, I make in vats to last me through the winter.  Both work wonders for the immune system and keep you healthy during cold and flu season.  Take garlic honey as needed for colds, coughs, sore throats, and as a preventative.  Garlic ear oil needs to be warmed (submerging in a bowl of warm water does the trick) and a couple drops applied in the ear at bedtime keeps your immune system in tip top shape.  I put three drops in one ear while lying down, wait for 5 minutes, wipe out the excess with a paper towel, turn over on a wash cloth to keep my sheets from getting oily, and then repeat with the other side.  Be forewarned, if you sleep with your dog you may wake to him licking your ear which of course is hilarious AND disgusting.

Just a Good Dog Story with Horses

My intuition tells me that Bruce Baby killed a cat.  I believe that is why he ended up in a shelter. When I adopted him at almost 7 years of age, there were a lot of other assumptions.  This boy, who came with his name, must have been tied to a rope via harness most of his life.  Not only did he have a bald spot and scabs where a harness would be but he lunges at everything that moves.  Bikes, hikers, other dogs, walkers, cars, runners, you name it, he comes unglued.

My other two dogs get to hike with me on the trails around town but when I take Bruce, we need to go to the middle of nowhere.

It was a beautiful spring day, spring break no less, and I loaded him into my truck and off we went.  40 minutes later we are on an old abandoned forest service road, he is off leash and I am feeling a welling up in my heart as this is what true happiness feels like.  Wondering how to bottle this feeling and take regular doses during work days.  We are about 1/2 a mile in when I see a horse.  I call Bruce over, leash him and am aware as anyone with a bad dog would be.  I even stop to take a picture of this lone horse offset by a snowy mountain.  Then we see more horses, and then some more.  At this point there are 7 horses and we quietly turn back as there is no point in getting closer, he is just going to freak out.

Then I hear it.  The earth starts to rumble...ok, maybe I am exaggerating, but it was loud.  A stampede.  There was a barbed wire fence on the other side of the old road and trying to get me, my back pack and a bad dog on a leash under a barbed wire fence in time is no easy task.  We made it in time not to be trampled by horses that in reality stopped short of us.  Now I count 28, no wait, 41, really, more?  By the time I am done counting I count 62 horses on the other side of the fence on the hill looking down at us.  The problem is is that Bruce Baby is flipping out and we are caught in brambles.  We have to navigate through them which is far from fun.

What is worse is that these horses are following us, every flipping last one!  We were being attacked by friendly horses.  So Bruce lunges through the barbed wire, comes back all bloody.  I am not sure what he cut as blood is everywhere.  A bloody possessed dog, horses that won't go away, and brambles that are tearing me apart, I thought we weren't ever going to get out of there! Tipi Hedren, you have nothing on us...sure, birds can fly but these are big ass horses that won't let us be.

And after 20 minutes of terror (even from the other side of the fence, that many in your face horses are unnerving), they stampeded back to where they came from and we were free.  We crawled back under the fence both of us looking quite haggard and made it to the truck. Bruce had a gash on his nose and a cut on his ear but not nearly as bad as it looked during "the panic".  It was the longest mile of my life yet looking back on it I chuckle.  Curious horses, probably looking for a treat.  Nothing like hindsight to put things in perspective but at the time I had no idea what I was going to do.  

That is the great thing about the wilderness, you always come out with a great story.