Interspecies Gay Marriage

I don't care if you have three legs and are purple, if you have found a love so dear that you want to express it with marriage,  I applaud you.

Gay marriage is a hot topic these days and the other night over dinner a few friends and I were discussing it.  I said off the cuff, "Yeah, once gay marriage is OK with the government I am going to see if it acceptable to marry my dog."  "That is what they are saying," they chimed in.  "What?"  "Yeah, people are saying if they allow gay marriage then soon people will want to marry their pets."   "Really?  Are you flipping kidding me?"  Honestly?  People can be idiots.

For years I have talked about marrying my dog.  Mormons have sister wives, why can't I have a dog wife??  There are so many reasons why we are such a good match.  Some human couples aren't this SIMPATICO. 

The Happy Couple

Others are jealous of our love because:

1. We understand each other completely.
2. We are 100% loyal to one another.
3. We are super protective of each other.
4. We have so much in common. We love to swim in lakes, hike, nap, camp, watch Netflix and backpack.
5. We accept each other exactly as we are. 

As no relationship is perfect, cons to this union:

1. I pay for everything.  I get home from work and the house isn't clean and my dinner is not made.  She doesn't have a job.  She is somewhat of a deadbeat.
2. Intimacy is an issue.  She doesn't even like it when I hold her paw when we are watching movies.
3. She doesn't know how to use the toilet.
4. She is a bit of a bed hog.  

All kidding aside, I think we should shout from the rooftop any time two people are in a commited loving relationship and want to seal the deal in the eyes of god.  Never in my life has anyone else's marriage interfered with my day to day life.  NEVER. 

Healthy Haikus and Cherry Blossoms

Difficult pondering cherry blossoms in full bloom when I awoke to yet another dusting of snow mid April in Western Montana.  My tulips on the verge of bursting into color may have a life tragically cut short as tomorrow night it will dip way below freezing, so for now I will conjure up cherry blossoms in my mind.  Our beloved Flathead cherries bloom much later in the summer, so sooner or later I will get a piece of the action.  You can bet your sweet bippy fingers will be stained, pickling and pies will occur, and inevitable frequent trips to the bathroom having overindulged in these bite sized versions of heaven.



Courtesy of montanacherries.com

In 1912, 3000 cherry trees were a gift to the city of Washington, DC by Tokyo's mayor Yukio Ozaki.  The annual Cherry Blossom Festival is a symbol of American and Japanese friendship.

America has been swept up by haiku during this celebration so I thought I would try my hand at writing some healthy haikus.  A bit more difficult than originally anticipated but still an unintimidating entry into the mysterious workings of poetry.

Here is what I came up with.

Water, air, and sleep
exercise, whole food eating
a beautiful life

Planting a garden
is like money in the bank
Good Food Currency

Chia, maca, kale
superfoods of the Gods, and
of wholesome people

Feeling sick and sad
GMOs, law of the land
when will people see?

Kale, glorious kale
my body sings in delight
Hallelujah! Greens! 

Garlic...Enough Said

I dated a wonderful young man in college.  I lived in an apartment while (for the first couple of years) he still lived at home.  In hindsight I can see why his mother wasn't fond of me, being the potential woman to take him away...and oh I did Carol, all the way to Montana from Ohio.  When our 6 year relationship ended, she got him back.  She wasn't outwardly mean yet she would often get her jabs in.  "Ever since you started dating Andrea, you reek of garlic." she said one day loud enough for me to hear.  A smile came over me.  To this day that is one of the greatest compliments I have ever received.

Growing up in a home that hardly contained real live vegetables, garlic as a kid always came in the form of garlic powder. This was normally added to jarred spaghetti sauce or to a big glutteny loaf of white bread.  Fast forward to college years where I often cooked instead of studying.  If it cast a spell on me in powdered form you can imagine what it was like when I got my hands on my very first bulb.  Now I grow it, store it, and eat it almost every day.  Last year I grew 62 bulbs, this year I hope to harvest 100.  I am quite generous sharing my garden bounty but even my own boyfriend got a mere 4 or 5 bulbs.

I feel like Miss America.

Home grown garlic is more potent than store bought and tastes divine.  You can plant it in the spring or fall.  I prefer spring as I can harvest it mid summer and then plant some greens in its place.  There are two kinds of garlic, hard neck and soft neck.  Soft neck stores longer but hard neck, my preference, produces garlic scapes.  Those swirly tips make some crazy strong pesto.  This is not for the faint hearted.  This is one of my most favorite summer treats and if willpower prevails I freeze some for the winter.  For year long access I store it in my basement closet which is dark and chilly but I also pickle it.

Garlic rocks medicinally.  Entire volumes could be written on the medicinal properties of garlic. Here are my two favorite tried and true recipes: garlic ear oil and garlic honey.

For both you mince tons of garlic or several cloves, depending on how much you want.  Then you put the garlic in a jar, cover it entirely with raw honey or extra virgin olive oil, cover the jar with a paper towel or cheese cloth so moisture can escape (you don't want the garlic to mold) and then you patiently wait for 4-6 weeks while it is doing its thing in a cool dark storage spot.  Then you strain

into a smaller jar or bottle.  I like the tiny blue glass bottles with a dropper for my ear oil.  And voila! 

You have just made some powerful medicine.

6 weeks is a long time.  Plan ahead.

Normally I make less garlic ear oil as it lasts a long time and you only need a little.  Garlic honey, on the other hand, I make in vats to last me through the winter.  Both work wonders for the immune system and keep you healthy during cold and flu season.  Take garlic honey as needed for colds, coughs, sore throats, and as a preventative.  Garlic ear oil needs to be warmed (submerging in a bowl of warm water does the trick) and a couple drops applied in the ear at bedtime keeps your immune system in tip top shape.  I put three drops in one ear while lying down, wait for 5 minutes, wipe out the excess with a paper towel, turn over on a wash cloth to keep my sheets from getting oily, and then repeat with the other side.  Be forewarned, if you sleep with your dog you may wake to him licking your ear which of course is hilarious AND disgusting.