Interspecies Gay Marriage

I don't care if you have three legs and are purple, if you have found a love so dear that you want to express it with marriage,  I applaud you.

Gay marriage is a hot topic these days and the other night over dinner a few friends and I were discussing it.  I said off the cuff, "Yeah, once gay marriage is OK with the government I am going to see if it acceptable to marry my dog."  "That is what they are saying," they chimed in.  "What?"  "Yeah, people are saying if they allow gay marriage then soon people will want to marry their pets."   "Really?  Are you flipping kidding me?"  Honestly?  People can be idiots.

For years I have talked about marrying my dog.  Mormons have sister wives, why can't I have a dog wife??  There are so many reasons why we are such a good match.  Some human couples aren't this SIMPATICO. 

The Happy Couple

Others are jealous of our love because:

1. We understand each other completely.
2. We are 100% loyal to one another.
3. We are super protective of each other.
4. We have so much in common. We love to swim in lakes, hike, nap, camp, watch Netflix and backpack.
5. We accept each other exactly as we are. 

As no relationship is perfect, cons to this union:

1. I pay for everything.  I get home from work and the house isn't clean and my dinner is not made.  She doesn't have a job.  She is somewhat of a deadbeat.
2. Intimacy is an issue.  She doesn't even like it when I hold her paw when we are watching movies.
3. She doesn't know how to use the toilet.
4. She is a bit of a bed hog.  

All kidding aside, I think we should shout from the rooftop any time two people are in a commited loving relationship and want to seal the deal in the eyes of god.  Never in my life has anyone else's marriage interfered with my day to day life.  NEVER.